Notices by batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) (batkaren@mastodon.online)

“Guess what?” my partner asks.

“Chicken butt,” I say.

“Guess what else?”

I pause to think. “…More…chicken butt.”

This is the one, The New Yorker!

I caught a scene from an old NYPD Blue, where one guy’s all, “she’s a lesbian?” and the other says, “oh yeah, big time.”

I wondered what officially makes a lesbian “big time,” and a lesbian friend suggested it’s when you’re like REALLY good at it.

It’s reassuring knowing there are some answers out there.

This is the one, The New Yorker!

Nature is wondrous. Saw turtles doing it in front of their baby today.

“All those moments will be lost in time, like cum in rain…”

“It's Earth day!” Earth cheers.

“Earth days are only 24 hours,” Venus sneers, “but a day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days.”

Earth’s smile collapses. “Why you like that on my day?”

Guys, I think I might know where all the bees went…

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-just-discovered-5-6-million-bees-under-a-new-york-cemetery/

I turn on the nebulizer, and my room transforms into a massive cloud of dust and gas nurturing stellar formation.

In all seriousness, I really hope our mad king doesn’t kill 93 million people today.

It’s so funny to me when someone says “this is just a bump in the road,” because it’s all bumps.

The road is just all bumps

Gotta say… Not a fan of [gestures frantically at everything] this.

Are the 12% of dems who oppose abolishing ICE all in Congress?

We did it, guys. We made it to the dystopic future.

Sadly, we must live in the apocalypse we’re dealt, never the one we desire.

"Ha…'FLOATERS'!" the dying optometrist gasps. "That's just what the American Medical Association forces us to call inter-dimensional eye spiders!"

What even are we, The New Yorker

I just want one pic of me in 2026 that’s half as flattering as this.

Ah, the changing of the calendar.

Time to turn over a new leaf, spread my wings, unfurl my mesothorax, express my oviducts, excoriate my malpighian tubule system, flush out the old renal corpuscles…

Really start the new year on the right pulvillus.

Some outtakes