Notices by I Hope This Email Finds you (thisemailfindsyou@mastodon.social)

I hope this email finds you guilty of planning an insurrection against the city and people of Charleston.

I hope this email finds you attractive.

I hope this email finds you well and still enjoying your time at the lake.

I hope this email finds you.

I hope this email finds you interesting, you’re a suspect.

I hope this email finds you unprepared, misfortune will soon come to you.

I hope this email finds you well and the Conference flourishing.

I hope this email finds you worthy enough to mate with.

I hope this email finds you unprepared in your house, feel free to use the baseball bat in the closet instead of waiting for the perfect tool to fight back.

I hope this email finds you lying about in your coming-out gown.

I hope this email finds you, wherever you have decided to be.

I hope this email finds you running a professional hockey franchise from the ground up, using real NHL details and statistics (updated for the 2005-2006 season).

I hope this email finds you interesting and attractive.

I hope this email finds you when you’re not looking.

I hope this email finds you before you can leave.

I hope this email finds you, no matter how much you try to run away from it, it will always track you down.

I hope this email finds you no matter where you try to hide.

I hope this email finds you unprepared for how to end, how to begin.

I hope this email finds you lying very still in your bed, and looking surprisingly healthier than you looked the night before.

I hope this email finds you well and maybe even helps you.