Notices by Chris Breen (bodyofbreen@mastodon.world)

I gotta say, it’s time to swap in a new “What to do with your hands” consultant at Apple. The constant cycle of “hands together in the middle of your chest, now bring them out together for emphasis, now back to rest, 1-2-3” is tired and unnatural.

NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte looks every bit the man terrified of being sent to the corn field.

Mark, my dude, try as you might to appease Trump, you will never succeed. The corn field is in your future. Grow a pair so you’ll have something to show when he’s gone.

The fact that Pete Hegseth hasn’t been reduced to a pile of ash clearly puts the lie to his notion of a just and fearsome God.

Excuse my cynicism, but he’s just gonna find some other shitty way to impose tariffs and Congress will do f-all about it.

I’d write a letter of complaint to the Washington Post, but I’m pretty sure there’d be no one left to open it.

Dear Outraged GOP representatives,

Put your money where your mouths are by revoking Johnson’s speakership and sign on to articles of impeachment.

Anything less is consent.

#Cowards

Celebrating a very important death today.

Andrew Cuomo’s political future.

Wait, what were you thinking?

Have discovered the Norwegian drama “Occupied.” A wonderful and complex political thriller that I can’t imagine being made in the U.S.

Huge Santa Cruz turnout #NoKings

Precipitous drops in the stock market compel me to mutter, “What did the idiot do now?”

I dunno, maybe the Sunday political shows could allot three more minutes for each segment to accommodate the host stating, “That’s a lie. Try again.” And repeat it until either the truth wills out or the guest walks off.

Look, just release the Epstein files already. We’re well past the point where Trump’s “Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it?” response will cause a ripple in the GOP. At this point Johnson and Thune will demand a National Pedophiles Day.

It couldn’t be clearer: Trump is angling for an honorary medical degree in Tylenology, complete with prescription pad that allows him to prescribe truckloads of Adderall.

In another universe, Apple holds its Fall event live. Tim Cook bounds on stage only to be greeted by the silent icy stares of countless disapproving employees and customers. #Capitulation

It’s a little late for disgruntled Trump voters to protest, “Waiter, there’s Hitler in this soup. I definitely ordered the Mussolini.”

To complement Apple’s Hard to Swallow week, look for Cafe Macs to offer Gristle Pie and Fatty Fatback to employees who just aren’t quite fed up enough.

Tomorrow’s Truth Social post:

“BIGGLIEST CROWD IN DC EVER!!!”

Sadly, 87% of Republicans will believe it.

RIP Sly Stone. Damnit.

Dear Media (Social and otherwise),

Can we quickly move past “This is what a dictator does” to “Trump is a dictator”?

This “it can’t happen here” take fails to acknowledge reality. Say its name.

Given the number of people who are bound to be technologically rich and everything-else-poor, might I suggest that some intrepid developer create a Breadline Status Checker—find the nearest location with the shortest lines.