Notices by Dysmorphia💛🤍💜🖤 (dys_morphia@sfba.social)

In my latest blogpost, I give my cat a performance review. Her job is cat.

90-day performance review for a senior cat

https://rinsemiddlebliss.com/posts/2024-10-04-90-day-performance-review-senior-cat/

#CatofMastodon #blog #CatsWithJobs

I still remember the time I got invited to some kind of shindig—boardgames or group singing or something—at a friend’s new boyfriend’s house. They met at burning man and it was some kind of weird polycule. Anyway the core couple hosted (friend was the secondary even if they didn’t use those terms) and they served some mildly fancy pizza but like it was home oven pizza. Seemed nice enough even though vibes felt a little off in that way poly vibes can be IME.

Anyway, I get home and they text me like a bill for my part of the cost of the pizza. I was so fucking confused. How weird and rude to host a party and then ask your guests for money!? It would be different if we ordered a pizza together and discussed it but they literally offered food and then charged guests after the fact. Who DOES that?

I also felt terrible for my friend. Clearly his boyfriend was a weirdo with no hospitality manners and how embarrassing that must have been for him!

If someone declines an alcoholic drink, the best question a party host can ask is “What might I offer you instead? We have…” and have some nice options.

If you ask why not, you stand a good chance of making your guest uncomfortable. Or making yourself uncomfortable if you ask a no filters kind of person like me ;)

I would like to follow more people who shitpost about critical theory and continental philosophy generally. I need more jokes and sly allusions to Foucault, Lacan, Derrida, Butler, etc. But not just those. I know it’s niche, but it’s a big fediverse. Please help me find them/you!

#CriticalTheory #poststructuralism #bigOtter

Official Shinjuku the kitty thread. First off, here’s a glamour photo of her from her past owner.

#CatsOfMastondon

Shinjuku is the name her last family gave her. I think it’s a great name and since she had it for 11 years, I see no reason to change it.

Shinjuku makes me think of Shinjuku Station (a real railway station in the Shinjuku ward of Tokyo) and also of Shinjuku Medical Center (a fictional hospital where the action starts in the game Shin Megami Tensei III).

Here she is in her hidey hole. There is evidence she’s used the litter box. So as long as she is eating and excreting, I’m going to treat everything as OK. It’s been less than 24 hours since we got her. I think she might be using that cardboard box to scratch a bit. That seems like a good sign too. #CatsOfMastondon

Last night she came out of her carrier briefly to check out the nest we made for her next to it and explored a bit behind the toilet. So, I put out some wet food. She ate it all overnight. This morning I found her in a new hiding spot behind a cabinet. She meowed a bit when I looked at her while I made toast. The toaster is on top of the cabinet. She seems pretty comfy back there and I suspect it may be her preferred hidey hole for a while. #CatsOfMastondon

A few hours later, I lured her out even further and she went to explore the living room, and eventually settled on my lap, lovingly kneading my knees with her unsheathed claws. I think she might need a trim and I need a heavy lap blanket. Perhaps sheating claws on the lap can be trained. #CatsOfMastondon

Yesterday afternoon, Shinjuku became curious while I was cooking dinner and poked her head out. I was able to convince her to come out with gentle words and a paper bag. #CatsOfMastondon

I hope eventually Shinjuku will come to associate the various beeps the stove makes with getting fed instead of taking them as a warning alarm of impending disaster that can only be averted by going into her hiding place.

She’s found some new spot to hide. I want to get her a collar and an airtag so that I can have the peace of mind that she’s in the house somewhere. #CatsOfMastondon

Good morning from Shinjuku who figured out the chair Mr Dys prefers and claimed it as her own. #CatsOfMastondon

We sometimes hear coyote howls from our house, especially from upstairs as the sound seems to echo off the hills. With her better cat hearing, Shinjuku can hear them from downstairs, it seems. Around 1 am a passing siren truck set off coyotes howling, which then set her meowing very loudly. We did not go to her because 1) we were sleepy 2) it will reinforce that meowing in the middle of the night gets positive attention.

However, this evening we will open the whole downstairs to her so she can hide in my study at the opposite end of the house if she wants. There’s a cabinet with space underneath that seems to have become one of her refuges.

She just came by and munched a bumch of the real kibble. Again, imagine if all you had was cake and caviar for days—bread would probably be appealing.

We misunderstood what was dry food and what was treats and have been feeding Shinjuku fish-cracker shaped cat treats as kibble since Sunday. The error has now been rectified but perhaps that’s part of why she adjusted faster than we expected. Imagine if you moved to a new house and all they fed you was caviar and cake and acted like this was normal.

Here’s Shinjuku last night, sitting on @paulmison ‘s lap (protected by a fluffy Lego “gift with purchase” blanket) She does not seem to mind, and perhaps even likes, the stream of bleepy noises that come from the Switch as he plays various old games. This time it was some version of Mr. Driller.

#CatsOfMastondon

Evening seems to be her most active time and last night Shinjuku cuddled on my lap for half an hour. I have an impromptu blanket from cut up jeans to protect me from her claws out kneading.

I wasn’t sure how to get her off me when it was bedtime, so I tried talking to her. I said something like “it’s time to get off” and pointed at the floor. She got up and did just that! Still meowed a lot when we first went to bed.

#CatsOfMastondon

Having a cat who goes into every crevice and under evey thing that has an under has raised a lot of dust in the last week. Today Mr Dys and I did a deep clean of the bedroom. We are not very tidy people and there were a lot of big dust clumps in every obstructed corner and under the bed. But there aren’t any more. We’ll have to do the same thing for the rest of the house soon.

So far, I think @paulmison is much better at getting her to come sit down on his lap and then settle, while I am better at talking her out of her hiding places. I’m not sure if it my higher pitched voice or simply a willingness to sit on the floor and speak stream-of-consciousness nonsense about the advantages of coming out from under whatever dusty place and eating some wet food before the ants do (or whatever) for minutes at a time. I also noticed that when there are new sounds it seems to reassure her if I talk through them, indicating by my demeanor I know and think they are fine.