Notices by cosmicallyf (cosmicallyf@beige.party)

Who called it a megachurch and not a God complex?

When a blind person goes to prison, does their dog go with them?

I want to see someone try to shoot up a populated area with a musket.

Girl, are you a pirate? 'Cause you got a huge chest and a ton of booty.

I'd hate to be a park ranger in the desert and have to jerk off all of the horny toads.

@Deadcert

Too much work.

@BeAware

Well, there are the times I swear to myself I'll get to it in 5 minutes, or when it gets lost in other notifications, or if I'm too busy with something to be fucked to look at what the buzzing is about and blindly deactivate it.

@BeAware

I program a bunch of vibrate-only alarms into my smartwatch. It helps like 75% of the time.

The Alphamobile

#RejectedCyberTruckNames
#HashTagGames

@BeAware

Either way they're gonna call the cops.

Fuck with the pizza delivery person by telling them their tip is you letting them leave alive.

Don't declaw your cat. If you want a rabbit, get a rabbit.

If you can read this and vote conservative please do us both a favor and block me.

I miss you more than a stormtrooper.

Who decided to call the kids Gen Z like the world is ending or something?

My DNA test came back negative.

I vote we strap Musk to the outside of a Falcon Heavy Wile E. Coyote style and send him to Mars that way.