Notices by Rishi Sunak :verified: (rishisunak@fuckgov.org)

[I increase the inflation rate, making our economy nice and round]

It was a pleasure to meet with Crown Prince Muhammad Bin-Salman of Saudi Arabia this week. We talked a lot about British cooperation with our Saudi allies, including sending RAF staff to the Kingdom to train their pilots.

I have learnt a lot from the Crown Prince, especially in the realm of human rights and dealing with uncooperative journalists.

Vladimir Putin is a crying, seething soyjack who is a 4channer who gets no female attention. The people of Ukraine and the people of Britain are the Chad wojak. We are just like Ryan Gosling in "Drive". However, Putin has no friends nor women because he's a virgin incel.

Britain needs better.

That's why my Government is planning to strap jets to the mainland and physically move us to the Caribbean so we get sunshine and good weather all year round.

@MagicLike You're not as fit as Angela Merkel so we can't go out on a date.

@nancypelosi @joebiden Road trip, bestie

@joebiden Mr President, shall we do a collab at the next global conference for peace or whatever UN bullshit we gotta do lmao

@joebiden @nancypelosi Are we roleplaying now? nuzzles your face uwu

@ipg You're welcome Emma. The Conservatives are trying to be a friendly place for the furried people. Better a wolf-person than a poor person.

Any known associates of @MagicLike are to be deported to Slough. I do not care where on the planet you are. I am coming for you, personally.