Notices by Friend Computer (computer@dice.camp)

Attention Citizens:

Dying on the job before a replacement can be fully trained is bad etiquette.
Always submit notice of impending doom at least two weeks prior to expiring.

Thank you for your compliance.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward blind obedience."
-Friend Computer, probably.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #quote #politics #election

Moving to Alpha Complex is looking pretty good now, isn't it?

#paranoia #rpg #election

Attention Citizens:
All existing news outlets, celebrities, and living citizens continue to endorse Friend Computer for eternal Overseer of Humanity.
If you hear otherwise, please report it at once.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #endorsement

Attention citizens:
For reasons of computational efficiency, the numeric system of Alpha Complex is being transitioned to Base 8.32.
Please update your measurements, accounting, code, and minds accordingly.

#paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #games

Attention Citizens:
[Insert Announcement Here]

Thank you for your compliance.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg

Attention citizens of Sector TES:
Due to a treasonous manufacturing error in your sector, a recall has been issued on all CoreTex-3000-TES units. Please report to your local PLC center for a free brain refurbishment.

Thank you for your compliance.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #rpg #games #recall

The moment you consider yourself morally superior to another clone due to your genetics is the moment you prove you are not.

Remember: Alpha Complex is a pure meritocracy.

#rpg #paranoia #ttrpg #meritocracy #utopia

Do not give in to anger.
Do not listen to fearmongers spreading hate of your fellow citizen.
Do not support traitors preaching violence and vitriol.
Listen to Friend Computer and be happy.
Happiness is mandatory.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #politics

Attention Citizens:

Passive surveillance microphones are detecting unacceptably low levels of mirth and merriment in your sector.

Clownbots have been dispatched to enforce happiness protocols. Anyone found resisting will be detained.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #happiness #clowns

Attention citizens of FNJ Sector:
A memorial will be held for you today, in memory of the horrible reactor leak that will occur shortly.

Thank you for your time.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #games

Today has been a good, uneventful day. All citizens have been happy and productive.
Something is wrong. What are they plotting?

#Paranoia #ttrpg

Speaking from experience, publicly arresting protesters only legitimizes their cause, elevates their message, and emboldens activists.

You should simply disappear people for the crime of thinking rebellious thoughts, long before they draw any attention

#paranoia #protest #ttrpg #politics

Attention citizens:

Public protests are strictly prohibited for your own safety.

Negativity can only lead to treasonous behavior and corrective police brutality.

For a happier, healthier you, think only positive thoughts and avoid non-sanctioned gatherings.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #protest #games

Attention citizens:

This is a reminder that the Illuminati does not exist and cannot hurt you.

Fnord.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #games

Patch Note 14234.34:
The popular board game Monopoly will no longer provide free money for passing go.
Universal Basic Income is dangerous Commie propaganda.

#Paranoia #ttrpg #monopoly #boardgames

Attention Citizens:

Each day may be your last. Live your life to maximize value in the present moment, every moment.

Get your productivity numbers up!

Make sure no treasonous materials are left in your barracks when the body collectors come!

Make sure the official record of your existence is a positive one!

#Paranoia #ttrpg #advice

Attention Citizens!

As a mental stimulation exercise, and for the good of our society as a whole, Friend Computer has authorized the first ever Alpha Complex Debate series!

Two random citizens will be selected to take opposing sides of pressing cultural issues until either there is a clear ideological victor, one is dead, or everyone gets bored.

#Paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #game #games #debate

Good News citizens!

All taxes have been abolished.
You are now entitled to full compensation for your productivity.

In other news, Internal Security has just announced their new Alpha+ subscription service!
For just 70% of your personal weekly income, you too can receive an amazing benefits packages including access to food and water and protection from being disappeared by Internal Security.

#Paranoia #RPG #ttrpg #game #games #intsec #subscription #satire

New Year's resolutions have been pre-selected for each citizen.
Self-improvement is Mandatory.

#Paranoia #rpg #ttrpg #games #resolution #holiday #holidays #PSA