My phone rang the other day and a voice said: "I've got good news and bad news. Whaddya want first?"
I said "Gimme the bad news."
"The bad news is that humanity is basically paranoid and hostile and addicted to expediency, and one day it will use up all available resources and wipe itself out, and leave the Earth to the squirrels."
"What's the good news?"
"My name's Daisy, and I'm a squirrel."