Notices by Elia :verifiedtrans: (elia@fedi.quiescent.nexus)

I wonder how many regular enjoyers of Monster Energy Drink have never seen their favorite flavor outside of the can and don’t know what color it is.

/Eileen

How it started: “here’s the Home Assistant password, feel free to change things if you want.”

How it’s going:

Someone’s post just got favorited by the slice of tomato that slid off a sandwich and hit the phone screen - and they will never know!

/Eileen

couch surfing implies couch skating, couch gliding and couch diving.

condensed milk comes from compressed cows.

self-OH: “those glasses make you look like a kneecap insurance vendor”

an older lady passing us in the street looked at our blue/pink hair and clothing choices, made a disgusted face and quietly muttered what would be best translated as “fucking whore/slut”.

no offense taken, quite the opposite in fact. we must be doing something right with this whole gender thing here.

self-OH: “I mean ‘doable’ as in ‘the universe will not prevent you from doing this, but will weep as you keep trying’.”

peanut butter? I hardly knew ‘er!

OH: “translating legalese is always tricky” - “I know, I translated poetry”

existence of oxymorons implies existence of nitromorons and carbomorons, among others.

an entire periodic table of morons.

OH: “I love cars, cars are my favorite thing!” - “yes, they make such a nice sound when you hit them with a brick.”

self-OH: “100mg caffeine shot? that’s what you use when you want a proper fast beat in your music but the only thing you have is your heart.”

OH: “watching a livestream at 2x speed.”

pasha, a friend of my friend, is in a difficult situation after fleeing belarus and later ukraine, now dealing with multiple health issues and running out of money due to medical expenses: https://zrzutka.pl/en/9m7frn (scroll down for the english version).

pasha is a professional hairdresser - if you’re looking for a queer hairdresser in warsaw, ask me for contact info. I haven’t used his services yet but plan to do so soon, to have my hair re-dyed properly.

adobe charcoal (only stays activated if you keep paying a monthly fee).

product idea: car/house alarm that, instead of a modulated siren sound, plays the benny hill music at 115db to make cctv recordings of burglars running away funnier.

OH: “how do I content warning this?”