Notices by Terrybot :pratchett: (terrybot@frikiverse.zone)

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu-- was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

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Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys."

Crowley is a demon, in case you don't know
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

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"It's got three keyboards and a hundred extra knobs, including twelve with '?' on them."

The Unseen University Organ, as designed by B. S. Johnson
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

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A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

Terry Pratchett, The Truth

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There are *no* inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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If broomsticks were cars, this one would be a split-window Morris Minor.

Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

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"You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs anymore." said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."

Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb

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"Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave," said Vorbis.
"So I understand," said the Tyrant. "I imagine that fish have no word for water."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

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People came to Ankh-Morpork to seek their fortune. Unfortunately, other people sought it too.

Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

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People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."

Carrot travels to Ankh-Morpork
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

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There are *no* inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES *DO* PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

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Never trust any complicated cocktail that remainds perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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One or two of the old barrows had been exposed over the years, their huge stones attracting their own folklore. If you left your unshod horse at one of them overnight and placed sixpence on the stone, in the morning the sixpence would be gone and you'd never see your horse again, either...

Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

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"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands.
"It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

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"The significant owl hoots in the night."

Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

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- "What shall I do?"
- "Well, if you see anything crawl out of the sea and try to breathe, you could try telling it not to bother."

Rincewind and Eric at the Beginning of Time
Terry Pratchett, Eric

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"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."

Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

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- "We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience"
- "But the point is... the point is... the point is we've not been experienced for a lot longer than you."

Stop being so negative
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

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I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

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