Notices by Catherynne M. Valente (catvalente@wandering.shop)

Man, I love how the whole tone of the media reaction to Trump dragging us into war with #Iran is just…sorrowful resignation & not the SHIT-CANO OF 24/7 FURIOUS DOLPHIN-SHRIEKING that would follow any Dem breathing too loudly in the direction of Tehran.

Really killing it, guys.

Democracy, I mean

It’s hard to escape the dawning realization that part (or all) of the goal of Google’s AI Overview is to simply eradicate the concept of anyone else having any kind of website at all.

Why click on a link & explore when Google told you the answer & you didn’t know it was wrong?

Google’s long-con loss-leaders have been nothing but a ramp-up to replacing the entire internet with itself—& a single content creator they never have to pay.

Except in the energy of the whole planet.

In retrospect, the flaw in the Turing Test was always using human discernment as the model to measure against.

LLMs easily pass the Turing Test, not because they’re sentient, but because we’re dumbasses who interpret the most dopamine-supplying response to ourselves as the most intelligently human.

@audubonballroon @datarama @riley AI teaches you not to use your own mind. In fact, it teaches that your own mind is inferior to a bot.

Doing the work yourself is the only way to learn & get better.

Also, replacing all human labor & interaction with a script controlled by monstrous people is BAD. They’re already forcing LLMs to spout misinformation.

Oh & it’s energy needs will destroy the planet just so no one has to write their own emails

From my new piece on Biden’s cancer diagnosis, the media & online response, and what controlled opposition actually means…

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/i-am-joes-aggressive-cancer

If this No Tax On Tips thing passes, I’m insisting on a tip jar for every single short story I write and I will not hear one breath of bitching about it holy shit

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills with everyone exclaiming whilst clutching pearls “Trump? And EPSTEIN?”

Didn’t we already know Trump is all over those files?

MAGA is super fine with it?

You know you can just not use AI, right?

You can make a choice not to be part of this.

Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.

You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.

Come on, Elon.

Say you stole it. Spill it all. You know you want to. So much attention. You can do it.

The thing people still don’t seem to get?

Trump backs down at ANY kind of pushback. Resist a little & he folds.

SO FUCKING QUIT FOLDING IN ADVANCE DING-DONGS

https://www.pressherald.com/2025/05/02/maine-settles-case-over-frozen-usda-school-funds/

At this point, if I woke up in the morning to find out US dollars have been replaced with lit firecrackers, McDonalds has been given direct control of the military, the 2026 midterms will be determined by the outcome of Purge festivities district by district, & all women have been legally reclassified as rhinoceroses, I'd barely blink.

I’m going to say this slowly.

If Andrew Tate & his ilk were right about ANYTHING they’d have no audience.

Guys would listen briefly, apply advice, & be WAY too busy with their new gfs, side-pieces, & high income hustles to bother tuning in.

It’s the Tinder principle: if you’re happy, they lose a customer.

Their business model is your unending misery.

It feels gross to even put out there that there's not much of a way through except to somehow magically make a bunch of new patrons appear out of thin air. But that's basically where Patreon has left us.

Boxer says I will work harder, but Boxer ended up glue. You know?

As a neurodiverse single parent of a neurodiverse kid deeply struggling to find a way to complete work while not neglecting my child & also living in fear of my own government's plans for us, I feel so helpless. Knocked down by all this at the time I can least afford it.

I know others have it worse.

Every one of the changes that took effect this month (and a few more that will take effect in November) takes money away from creators & gives it to Patreon & Apple.

Hardly anyone can just eat an instant 30% drop in income--except companies like that, but they'll be fine. Will we? I don't know.

Basically: any subscriptions made through the iOS/Apple store now have the 30% fee applied, which comes out of our portion of the sub. It also seems iOS subscriptions are subject to a 75 DAY hold, which is truly beyond any normal processing time

This is why most folks lost around 30% overnight.

If you want to help out, obv. becoming a patron if you weren't before would help shore up the gaping hole we're all grappling with. But do it through a BROWSER, which circumvents all these issues

You could also email #Patreon, as we've all done, & complain. I'm not sure they're listening, though

If you're already a patron and you signed up through the Apple store, unfortunately, cancelling & re-subscribing through a browser will only work at the end of a billing cycle, as they won't take a new sub before the current cycle is up. #patreon

But beyond that...it doesn't look like good.

We are already terrified--artists are always considered expendable & economic chaos means no one has much wiggle room.

To do this do the hundreds of thousands of artists who rely on #Patreon to live when it's about to cost $50 for a fucking carton of milk is utterly gutting.

Oh my god, 6 year old just asked a post-bath question for the ages:

“Mama, in your whole life, how many objects have you gotten that were cursed?”