Notices by Catherynne M. Valente (catvalente@wandering.shop)

New piece (from an actual Maine voter) on Graham Platner, the media's sudden "concern" over us poor dumb Mainers, and how I came around to voting for him:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/the-democratic-urge-to-lose

I’m casting a wide net to see what I catch:

#Mastodon, give me fairy tales/folktales from your culture, and/or just ones that come to mind from anywhere, that feature #Death as a *personified character*

Go!

Oh, wow, this is definitely how the government investigates a very unexpected serious & real crime that was really committed, seriously, whose details totally matter, so we basically HAVE to give Trump $400 million & shut down the Democratic Party forever about it, that’s just the law, you guys.

AHHHHH!

*deep breath*

AHHHHHH!

My twisty summer gothic story When He Calls Your Name is a #HUGO FINALIST!

I am so beyond happy—I’m so proud of this story & so hoped it would find its people.

SEE YOU IN LA DARLINGS, IMMA WEAR A VAMPIRE GOWN

https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when-he-calls-your-name/

The use of “hallucinate” is a stroke of true evil genius in the AI world.

In ANY other context we’d just call them errors & the fail rate would be crystal clear.

Instead, “hallucinate” implies genuine sentience & the *absence* of real error.

Aw, this software isn’t shit! Boo’s just dreaming!

Just in case nuclear war starts tonight I wanted to say, despite all the complaining, it’s been a jewel of a life with all of you, hanging on a golden chain of moments of togetherness and connection and care.

Smoke em if you got em I guess.

From my new piece concerning the Anthropic settlement:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/blood-money-the-anthropic-settlement

I just finished filing my claim with the #Anthropic settlement, which used FIFTEEN of my books to train the goddamned Temu Terminator, and I am fucking furious and heartbroken about it:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/blood-money-the-anthropic-settlement

Annual reminder of the True Meaning and Origin of Valentine’s Day and why it’s still completely wonderful whether you have a partner or not:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/on-valentines-day

The more that comes out, the more it feels like Epstein was low-key running half the planet to a bizarrely granular degree, until he died, at which point the desperate need to hide that fact kept on running it.

My 7 year old just reached for a piece of pizza fresh out of the oven and exclaimed, in the same tone as an adult swearing…

“English *folklore*, that’s hot!”

I choked laughing ENGLISH FOLKLORE AS A SWEAR? WHO ARE YOU?!?

I’m so tired of this dance.

MANY Republicans: *do a Nazi thing*

Normal people: So you’re Nazis, we can all clearly see that now, right?

Republicans: But ARE we? What if Hitler stands for Handsome Intelligent Talented Loving Ethical Rascals, ever think of THAT, lib? Tee hee!

Media: Why are Dems the worst?

Hey youths

Get the fuck off TikTok because Trump just told you factually they’re gonna fuck the algorithm to turn you all into loyal Hitler Youth.

And you won’t notice til you find out your personal demographic Need Not Apply.

Ahhhh!

“…the best story in the collection, Catherynne M. Valentes Came the Last Night of Sadness…”

From Locus Online’s review of #TheEndoftheWorldAsWeKnowIt: New Tales from #StephenKing’s The Stand!

And maybe only assassinations of conservatives because I sure don’t remember ever hearing the name of Melissa & Mark Hortman’s killer, inasmuch as I ever heard Melissa & Mark Hortman’s names & not “Democratic lawmakers”

(It was Vance Luther Boelter & I swear I never saw that name before in my life before I just now looked it up.)
https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/115203432084130542

White-on-white crime is a tragic epidemic sweeping the country.

How many more will we lose to white gang violence and rightwing turf wars?

It’s the culture, you know.

These white celebrities glamorize a criminal lifestyle & young inner-suburb kids get trapped in the school-to-influencer pipeline.

Hey remember how the CEO class that assumed they were invulnerable to the chaos they created for others started existentially freaking out after Luigi killed one of their own?

That’s…gonna be nothing next to the influencer class freakout.

So…um…this happened?

For those who came to the #worldcon virtual reading (or will watch/watched it later!) and want to finish When He Calls Your Name, my spooky summer tale with a secret twist, it’s here in full for free:

https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when-he-calls-your-name/

Another ancient, hoary piece of metal just emerged out of the earth of my forest…

Last time Mastodon identified the sad iron I found under a tree in less than 5 minutes…

Any guesses?