Notices by Green Roc Thoughts (greenroc@mastodon.social)

@hellomiakoda "it takes me a while to get used to someone so I can communicate with them" Ditto.

Trust takes time too

I told the caregving boss, that I like about three of them so far out of the ssix, but the last one was again, new to me, and didnt wear a mask, told me to "calm down" So I, in an emotions raging high, said, they are all fired.

Three out of five, I said I can like the three, a new one came like wtf, can they not read the notes they said to wear a mask, let themselves in, fck.

@hellomiakoda My brain imagines, you showing this previous toot to them, saying in a firm voice.... "She is just like me! I am just like her! Can you not get it? Are you that numb? Or you just dont give a crap.

Assholes, the lot of you"

My brain is angry and compassionate for your situation. You shouldn't have to put up with their consideration constipation.

@hellomiakoda :(

Sadness.
What a shame, saddens me they just dont get it.
:sadness:

@hellomiakoda My carers changed every week with new caregiving provider, so I fired em.

Every week, they get lost before they find my door, would park in the wrong spot, and everyone doesnt know where the laundry room is. One of em said the #1 thing to not say to me "Calm down".

I cant feel safe with a new person every week. I have STRONG relate to your situation.

I need sameness. I need to not have to go outside.

I acknowledge your struggle with solidarity + my stories.
Feel free to share.

@hellomiakoda smh... I have certified level 2 social interaction, with no intellectual impairment. Level 2 is significant enough to need a care giving service to help me communicate.

If only you could ignore the roommies existence.

@hellomiakoda I am trugglign to fucking becuse meltdown.. sceensoht I am incaboleble of alt texting atn

notifications are showing this:

@hellomiakoda I am so angry at that right now, when the last thing I need is more anger, and hinderance from seeing the replies I need right now, I happened to see you, looking at my home feed.

I am unable to view notifications

"The requested page could not be rendered. It could be due to a bug in our code, or a browser compatibility issue."

Notifications.
where I always look for replies.

Hey Karma? Did you know you have the wrong address? I'm not the three bullies you are trying to dish harm upon.

Just please stop huring me, please. I have had enogh fopr three lifetimes of hell.
Just let me die already, this hurts too damned much.

Few friends?

NOt my fault.

It is the fault of every single human being acros my whole fucking hell of a life, that believed something about me that wasnt true.

Bug in the code.

Is the bug in my DNA code? I rather think the bug is in 98% of the world, still thinking hierarchyes, bullying and bravado is the way to go.

fuck that shit and get out of my life, so much hell I canot handle!

Like, the peple I like... it is like looking for a straw, in a stack of needles.

Owch. I want more friends, I am so lonely.

If this is not hell, then I dont know what hell is.

This feels like hell.

I also do not use my remote. I have the strip plugged into a power socket attached to my light switch.

----

I wish I could make that LED strip ignore remote signals.

Is there a way, perhaps?
Maybe @hellomiakoda knows.

I may need to get a different LED light strip for my room that I leave the light on while I am awake...

Pattern recogition is telling me... a neighbor likely has a remote with the same signal, as my strip turns itself off, at the same times every day.

Ugh it is so annoying having to turn my strip back on, four damn times a day!

It's a toggle power remote control, so when mine is on, and a remote is pressed, it goes off.

They likely have no idea they're turning mine off.

Agh!

@hellomiakoda Iforget if I were to use the name Mia or Koda >.<

@hellomiakoda I wish we had cake. Cake costs money.
(you is being funny, and my roommates are some of the besty humans ever!)

Both my roommates are going to be without SNAP...

What the hell are they going to do for food huh?

@hellomiakoda Reminds me of a neighbor who would play painfully loud music, and I tried to ask them to turn it down, and they defended themselves telling me that I am old and they are young and that they needed their music.

Ow.

@VulcanTourist @hellomiakoda It was for their stress relief, they were dressed in camo, some sort of female pair of military, in their early 20's.

I'm often a day sleeper, cant sleep with their bass throbbing inside my heart chambers :/

@jrdepriest We're expected to do too much, then we meltdown. Mine tend to want to headbutt a wall. I dont cook because it requires too much standing.
I never want to meltdown, but someone's gotta do some of this stuff around here.

@jrdepriest I feel intense relief upon headbutting a hard surface, but the action scares people too much. I struggle to find alternatives to my limited capacity of choice in the middle of these meltdowns. Starting this year, I have found that hitting my head with a stuffed animal seems to be working.

I just have to keep a stuffed animal in my hands at all times, somehow.