Notices by Sean Kelly (nutjob4life@fosstodon.org), page 2

Woot! Been working it all year and I have abs
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olutely no desire to give up tacos.

THEM: If lemonade has real lemons in it, do you think gatorade has real gators in it?

ME: [drinking poisonade] Oh crap.

I have a step ladder

I never knew my real ladder

Narrator voice: "When threatened, the lithium-ion battery can expand up to twice its usual size"

Whoever collected this great 80s–90s era set of designs: bravo

It's only a murder of crows if there's probable caws

ME: We have a color named after you

SALMON: Really? Is it silvery-blue like my scales?

ME: No, uh …

SALMON: Wait why is it pink?

ME: …

SALMON: WHY IS IT PINK?!?

Picture, if you will, an octopus using a smaller octopus as a toupée

@michaelgemar @TheBreadmonkey

$ ls
README.md deploy.py media-xfer.sh

Thank you for running /bin/ls! How likely are you to recommend /bin/ls to a friend?
1 = not likely, 10 = very likely
[1-10]: ␣

AMAZON SUBSCRIBE & SAVE: We suggest 1 every 4 weeks

ME: Okay, sure

[one year later]

ME: I've become a doomsday prepper but for cat food

SHE: I like a guy with cool scars

ME: Oh yeah? [lifting shirt] Had this one my entire life

SHE: That's your bellybutton

ME: My wife left me to colonize Mars

THERAPIST: That's unsettling

ME: Actually it's the exact opposite

ME: Is it weird to talk to yourself?
ME: No

Companies that suspended advertising on Twitter/X after a media watchdog report found their ads appeared alongside pro-Nazi tweets:

- Apple
- Comcast
- Disney
- European Commission
- IBM
- Lionsgate Studios
- NBC Universal
- Paramount Studios
- Warner Brothers

Exquisite 👨🍳😘

OFFICER: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers

DETECTIVE: Dear god

OFFICER: Most likely yes