Notices by Sean Kelly (nutjob4life@fosstodon.org)

If St Patrick sees his shadow today, it’s six more weeks of snakes

Theremin for sale. Never been touched.

BOSS: If you fall asleep again, you're fired
ME: ok
BOSS: Now go do the sheep inventory
ME: oh no

The little drummer boy had no gift?

Bullshit

He had the drum

Merry Xmas!

"Slow Horses" has the leet hacker character:

✅ Dyed hair
✅ Mini drinks fridge
✅ Anime t-shirt
❌ An absurdly huge book on XML?

For the first time in my life I just used the `match`/`case` statement in Python

Feeling pretty weird

Not psychic power weird, just … weird

I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there

Any AT&T fiber/DSL/etc. users out there?

HELP!

How do you turn off "DNS Error Assist"?

It's off according to the website, but made-up DNS names resolve to “143.244.220.150” and browsers end up at "dnserrorassist.att.net"

I feel that International Talk Like a Pirate Day has lost its momentum

I don’t know what this is but as a hair dyer I approve

GIRLFRIEND: Don't tell my dad how we met

ME: Okay

[later]

HER DAD: So how did you two meet?

ME: [startled] Never seen her before in my life!

ME: I love sleepovers
DOCTOR: This isn't a sleepover. You're in the hospital
ME: Then why do I have this nightgown?
DOCTOR: That's a hospital gown.
ME: Truth or dare
DOCTOR …
ME: …
DOCTOR: Dare

Gen-X thinks they invented podcasts but my mother has been leaving 30 minute voicemails well before the Internet

All the celebrity chefs say to save your pasta cooking water.

I do! So far I’ve saved 770 gallons (3000 liters).

Contractors are coming next week to install underground storage tanks!

ME: Tonight we dine like kings!
ME: [checks wallet]
ME: Like burger kings!

[Anna] felt that politics was the second most evil thing humanity had ever invented, just after lutefisk.

—"Abaddon's Gate", book 3 of The Expanse, by James SA Corey

[at the dad conference]

SPEAKER: Hi I'm glad to be here.

DADS: Hi glad to be here!

SPEAKER: [shows slide of driver license, first name "Glad", last name "To Be Here"]

DADS: [totally lose it]

atp.fm podcast has a new theme song 🎉

And it now mentions Mastodon 🍻

But neglects to mention the instance(s) the hosts are on 🤨

Oh well, A for effort! 🥂

Been practicing "Inbox Zero" for a few years now and I love it

This year, I started “Downloads Folder Zero”

So far I'm sticking with it and it feels great!

I bet Groot met his girlfriend on Timber.