Notices by NewsThump (newsthump@mastodon.online)

NEWS! Women ruining International Men's Day by repeatedly asking 'Yeah but when is International WOMEN'S Day' https://buff.ly/3CLhxrF

NEWS! New assisted dying legislation could allow a dignified end to the lingering misery of the Tory party https://buff.ly/3AE1hrQ

It’s beginning to look like Nigel Farage’s main qualification for becoming the UK’s ambassador to the United States is that he already has permanent residence deep inside Trump’s colon.

NEWS! United States makes history by electing felonious sex pest as President https://buff.ly/48C0zba

NEWS! ”Fascism, please” confirms America https://buff.ly/40Cf6BW

With voting underway in the US, quite a few people have asked us, "Who do you want to win?".

Well, given we're not US citizens, it's pretty irrelevant, and let's be honest, neither candidate is particularly inspiring. We might have a "preferred" candidate, but we DO know this:

If Trump loses, it will be VERY funny for a few days, or even weeks, as his low-information crowd come to terms with the loss none of them saw coming.

And if he wins, it will be VERY funny for about four years as we get to repeat the 2016-2020 period when he barely went a week without giving people like us something else to mock and laugh at.

So WHATEVER happens, it's a win for people who make jokes about the news! 😀

Your casual reminder that this is the man who lost his mind when Labour members had the temerity to volunteer their time to campaign for Kamala Harris...

NEWS! Man decides to keep box of cables he's had since 2002 for another year https://buff.ly/3BNC4eG

Woke - get the definition on a mug here >>> https://shop.newsthump.com/product/woke-definition-mug/?utm_source=Mastodon&utm_medium=image-post&utm_campaign=071024wokemug

NEWS! Success of far-right Austrian welcomed by people who've never opened a history book https://buff.ly/4du6Lmi

NEWS! Taliban praises US lawmakers for continuing to clamp down on women's rights https://buff.ly/4gAp3VZ

NEWS! "Migrants threaten our national safety" insist politicians in country where children with access to guns accidentally kill someone every four days https://buff.ly/4elM2Ck

Happy Star Trek Day! It is one of the most iconic sci-fi franchises in history, with incredible lore and an instantly recognisable logo. As proven by this T-shirt. #StarTrek
Get yours HERE >>>
https://buff.ly/3MyjTMq

Another day, another Cissy SpaceX tweet sharing harmful misinformation from right-wing grifters. It continues to surprise us why family-friendly advertisers have abandoned this place. 🤷♂️

No, sex offenders are not being released early to make room in prison for people who made mean tweets.

SDS40, the early release scheme to which they are referring, explicitly excludes anyone in prison for sex offences, serious violent crimes, or domestic abuse from being released early.

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)
Get your new mug here >>> https://buff.ly/3XeplJa

Disney lawyers sneak ‘unmanned aerial drone strike for anyone sharing login details’ clause into Disney+ T&Cs https://newsthump.com/2024/08/21/disney-lawyers-sneak-unmanned-aerial-drone-strike-for-anyone-sharing-login-details-clause-into-disney-tcs/

Stop calling them the ‘Farage Riots’, demands man behind the Farage Riots https://newsthump.com/2024/08/08/stop-calling-them-the-farage-riots-demands-man-behind-the-farage-riots/

Elon Musk fan to start suing women who refuse to date him https://newsthump.com/2024/08/07/elon-musk-fan-to-start-suing-women-who-refuse-to-date-him/

Man would vote for Trump even if his only election pledge were to drown all puppies in sacks https://newsthump.com/2024/08/05/man-would-vote-for-trump-even-if-his-only-election-pledge-were-to-drown-all-puppies-in-sacks-2/