Notices by NewsThump (newsthump@mastodon.online)

NEWS! "I'm not a fascist!" insists man sending the military to quell First Amendment-protected protests and arranging a big military parade for his birthday https://newsthump.com/2025/06/11/im-not-a-fascist-insists-man-sending-the-military-to-quell-first-amendment-protected-protests-and-arranging-a-big-military-parade-for-his-birthday/

Interesting Fact of the Day: If Robert Jenrick were to catch 50 fare dodgers a day, recouping £2.90 each time for the taxpayer, and he did this as his full-time job, it would take him well over 1,000 years to recoup the amount the taxpayer lost when he helped a major Tory donor avoid a £45m tax bill back in 2020.

NEWS! Man who claims UK has 'two-tier legal system' perfectly comfortable with Just Stop Oil protester getting 30 months for planning to glue themselves to an airport https://newsthump.com/2025/05/28/man-who-claims-uk-has-two-tier-legal-system-perfectly-comfortable-with-just-stop-oil-protester-getting-30-months-for-planning-to-glue-themselves-to-an-airport/

NEWS! Keir Starmer meets with Nigel Farage to see what he’s supposed to do next
https://newsthump.com/2025/05/13/keir-starmer-meets-with-nigel-farage-to-see-what-hes-supposed-to-do-next/

NEWS! MAGA fans preparing to storm St. Peter's Basilica should Trump lose conclave https://newsthump.com/2025/05/08/maga-fans-preparing-to-storm-st-peters-basilica-should-trump-lose-conclave/

Alcatraz closed in 1963. Mainly because it was an outdated, rusting, leaky, stupidly expensive place for dumbasses to spend many unhappy nights. He doesn't need to refurbish it, he just needs to put a "Trump Hotel" sign out front and open it.

NEWS! Pope loses will to live after meeting JD Vance https://newsthump.com/2025/04/21/pope-loses-will-to-live-after-meeting-jd-vance/

NEWS! Woman who believes vaccines cause autism also believes thing above her bed catches bad dreams https://newsthump.com/2025/04/18/woman-who-believes-vaccines-cause-autism-also-believes-thing-above-her-bed-catches-bad-dreams-2/

NEWS! Trump funeral remains America's top sexual fantasy https://buff.ly/lBoAWwk

NEWS! Labour congratulated on class April Fool's ruse after announcing plan to implement genuinely left-wing policy https://buff.ly/NWwruV3

Any parent reading this will know the unconditional love you have for your children. It is literally UNconditional.

However, here is Elon saying his child is dead because they're trans. Not committed a horrific crime. Not murdered anyone. Not even shoplifted.

They're just trans.

That's it. And now dead to him.

If he can't have empathy for his own children, what makes you think he gives two shits about the rest of you?

Oh, look, Mr Free-Speech-Absolutist is up to his usual tricks when authoritarians ask him to suppress the speech of opposition figures...

NEWS! Noted philanthropist Donald Trump makes buying stocks affordable to all Americans through kind-hearted economic crash https://buff.ly/woGCA6k

NEWS! Vladimir Putin wins Oscar for Best Director of a Foreign Country https://buff.ly/5GI9Nxe

NEWS! "You could have made a deal", Trump blames Poland for starting World War II https://buff.ly/4i2mZWH

It's been a while since we shared this, but given the rise of RFK Jnr, we thought it was appropriate to dust it off! It's still available on a T-shirt and mug here >>> https://shop.newsthump.com/product/anti-vaxxer-venn-diagram-t-shirt/?utm_source=Mastodon&utm_medium=image-post&utm_campaign=140225AntiVaxTee

NEWS! Company insisting you can no longer 'work from home' also expects you to respond to work emails after you've 'gone home' https://buff.ly/4jqeB4F

SpaceX referring to their Starship blowing up as "a rapid unscheduled disassembly" is honestly the funniest thing Musk has ever been involved in. Shame it was unintentional.

If Elon Musk buys Liverpool football club, it'll be less than six months before he issues a lawsuit for the right to call himself the club's founder.

ICYMI: Musk is letting his feelings be known...