Notices by timberwraith (timberwraith@mastodon.social)

@gwynnion Which actually IS bioessentialism but as a socially trained, conditioned response that feels like a gut reaction.

@gwynnion I think people are so incredibly wrapped up in their notions of what they see as "male" vs. "female" that anything which shifts, expands, or bends those categories scares the hell out of them and results in a reflexive sense of revulsion. They assume their negative emotional responses are natural rather than socially trained, and so, they see us as unacceptable violations of nature, worthy of complete disgust and violent push back.

@gwynnion There are plenty of examples of young children just accepting trans people as we are while the adults surrounding them freak the fuck out because they've been stewing in the juices of conditioned sex/gender conformity for so much longer.

I was annoyed and befuddled by having a "Do not disturb" feature on my phone that let people's calls through anyway to disturb me.

And then I finally figured out how to get it to block *everyone* recently. So, that was nice.

Why the fuck didn't y'all make that feature do what it claims to do in the first place, by default?

On some level, I think this accidentally says something about the tech industry and its absolute disinterest in people's boundaries.

The thing is, I can't remember how much of this I experienced because I medically transitioned so long ago.

I know that I now experience the *opposite* condition where I'm hyper-aware of what happens in my body. I've had several people comment across the years that I seem to have an awareness of internal sensations that seems unusually heightened.

I take that for granted, really. I didn't realize that was unusual.

Since I'm on the topic of body sensations...

I was chatting with a transfem friend on the phone a couple of days ago, and the topic of dissociation from one's body came up.

It's not uncommon for trans people to be disconnected and distanced from their bodies because it's rather traumatic to waltz around existence wearing a body that just feels... well, quite *wrong*.

I can usually figure out an answer to questions like this regarding my past but this is one I don't have an accurate answer for.

Maybe that's telling in and of itself? I don't know.

But what I did remember is that I became A LOT more focused on internal sensations in my body as I started to take HRT. I was searching for changes, any changes in how my body's functions were being altered by HRT.

I think I might have gotten into a habit of having this hyper-awareness from those years of bodily change and the curiosity that came with it?

I know that I was very, very focused on this at the time. That's a strong memory.

I don't remember what came before that, though.

I started to ponder this a bit when I was chatting with my friend, though.

Did I have this hyper-awareness *before* I medically transitioned?

I honestly don't remember. I know I've had a hyper-awareness of my internal emotional states since I was a teen. That's a body sensation in many ways but it's not the same as feeling all of your body sensations.

I just don't know...

One form of dissociation I have related to one's body is more abstract.

I absolutely do NOT see my body as an extension of myself. I see it as very separate from self. I see it as a thing, a kind of housing or external surface that I wear as a matter of course.

I am not my body. My body is not me.

THAT has been fairly consistent across the years, going back to at least my teens.

But I'm pretty aware of what this body is doing, regardless.

"You're just joking about freeing the Earth from human existence, right? Right?"

"Hello? She's not answering..."

🦗🦗🦗

So, I just read that "Avengers: Doomsday" is going to be 3 hours and 45 minutes long.

Wow. Nearly four hours of tired, over-played McSuperhero crap.

So, as I mentioned earlier, in a another thread, it seems fairly evident that the government agent, Jonathan Ross, likely murdered Renee Good as an enraged response to interactions with her and her wife.

Simply put, this looks very much like "murder by angry cop."

The Star Tribune has broken down various videos taken by people nearby, recreating the events that took place.

(Article does not appear to be paywalled.)

https://www.startribune.com/breaking-down-the-videos-a-close-examination-of-the-shooting-of-renee-good/601560158

I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm reading news on the Star Tribune because of all of the shit that's going down. I hate this fucking newspaper but it's the primary local paper of Minneapolis.

If justice is served, which it likely won't be, this man should be sitting in a prison cell for a very, very long time.

So should the government officials which unleashed this terror show on the country. They should be doing time too, as far as I'm concerned.

Fragile, toxic masculinity and government thugs murdering people:

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fji27tmf5mynmv3wipvwfdfv/post/3mbznfxhsvs26

Pouring racism and xenophobia into the target populace for recruitment and conscription is also quite helpful.

Teach them violence and aggression as a personal ethic from the earliest years and teach them hatred against the people they will be used as weapons against and you'll be able to feed the engines of war with human bodies more reliably.

But I'll also repeat something that I've heard other people say:

The military likes to recruit/conscript people while they're younger because it is easier for the institution to manipulate and brainwash people into becoming instruments of mass murder while they are younger.

And I'll add, that's even easier to accomplish if society has primed a major part of the military's target populace with the ideology of toxic masculinity to soften them up for exploitation as cannon fodder.

"I was just following orders." are the well known reflexive words of the people in foxholes, clerks' offices, and various other jobs and positions that made innumerable atrocities possible in well documented moments of history.

It wasn't an acceptable excuse then.

It's not an acceptable excuse now.

I was 17 when I figured out that the u.s. military was an intrinsically evil institution. As someone assigned male and born in the Cold War years, I fully understood that I'd possibly have to prepare for being incarcerated rather than face conscription for one of the united states' many overseas military slaughters. I would have rotted in prison first.

But yeah, I know that most people just blunder along doing whatever their fascist society tells them to.

And that's a major fucking problem.