Notices by elilla&, rōnin schlampe (elilla@transmom.love)

hey all please don't @ me in discussions about gory details about programming, tech stuff, or heterosexuality

@coolbean I do not count image recognition or traditional machine learning as what is now meant by "AI"

an example of what I was thinking the other day: adapting a men's kimono to femme standards. it seems to be mostly a matter of opening the sleeves in the female pattern, and then just wearing it with women's obi?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFxSM5q-E50

this would provide a cost-affordable way for me to finally have a (real) kimono that fits my body: adapt my old tea ceremony stuff. my dark green kimono would be very fitting for a middle-aged lady to do tea with, and the blue one is more basic but there's emotional attachment to it because it was tailor-made for me by an old tsundere lady from my tea group in Curitiba. plus there's something satisfying in the idea of transing my kimono with me instead of simply donating them for men to use (it's much easier for 181cm men to find kimono than women)

I take back what I said, that "AI" would turn out to be useless in war other than as responsibility laundering to do war crimes. Turns out "AI" can and has killed multiple terrorists. Namely, terrorists who asked training advice to "AI"

https://pivot-to-ai.com/2026/07/13/terrorists-are-using-ai-and-the-chatbot-is-killing-them/

there is thus one way to use "AI" as a war weapon: convince your enemies to consult it

Interview with antifa about the „Baseballschlägerjahre“ in the 90s where young radicalised Nazis would attack people with baseball bats and how important it is to preserve this movement history, and it's an interview from _now_, from 2026, and I find it kind of amazing and very German that he somehow describes the entire thing in the past tense??? like all of it just reads like a description of my experience—the attacks, the nazi movements splintering and moving to East Germany to organise in a more concentrated way, the very young teenagers doing the violence and getting off with little to no sentences—it's stuff that I've watched the past few years ,or, uh, last week, for example, but they still have this tone of "back in the 90s violence was real, wasn't that bad"?

the only difference I can tell between now and the situation he describes is that they use retractable batons now rather than baseball bats. Teleskopschlagstockjähre.

those canned chili sin carne that I always eat? girl bought some big discout tortilla chips, a jar of pickled jalapeños, cut some spring onions, and mixed the chili into a dip for the chips.

a disgraçada é uma gênia

On the topic of early videogame trans women. As a Brazilian I had the privilege of playing Akumajō Dracula-kun (today fan translated as "Kid Dracula"), and I did catch the reference to the boss in Symphony of the Night, but somehow this absolutely amazing girl and her implied development went right over my head, and I only realised it recently thanks to wikis.

Dracula-kun is a parody of the Castlevania series back when Castlevania was still new. You play as young boy Dracula saving Earth from evil galactic conqueror Galamoth, because it's *your* Earth and *you* are going to be its evil conqueror. There's lots of jokes and references in this fun little game, but one of the jokes is homophobic. You might have heard of the Japanese folkloric creature Snow Woman ("yuki-onna"), a beautiful snow-white lady who appears in winter promising a bit of warmth but luring men (and, presumably, lesbians) to a deathly icy embrace. Well Dracula-kun has yuki-okama enemies, instead of yuki-onna. "Okama" is a gender identity somewhat close to the Latina travesti or, a bit more distantly, to crossdressers or drag queens: someone assigned male who dresses with fem clothes and performs an exaggerated femininity. The intended joke being that instead of a beautiful snow woman you're getting some funny snow transvestite. The first image below is the sprite for the snow-okama; the low resolution of the Famicom spared us from a mean caricature with beard shadow or something, but the manual illustration makes the joke clear.

Then many years later in Symphony of the Night, there's a beautiful ice witch enemy called Frozen Half, and the in-game lore describes her as a servant of Galamoth—the end boss from Dracula-kun—and I still failed to connect the dots. The word "half", or more precisely "new half" (in English), is an old-fashioned Japanese word for a trans woman, in the sense of someone who has gone through medical procedures to transition from their assigned gender. This is the yuki-okama from Dracula-kun! Despite being an intangible spirit she got HRT in the meantime and I'm very happy for her

The post about early videogame trans character Frozen Half from Castlevania, rewritten as a blog post you can share:

https://wordsmith.social/overthinking-the-apocalypse/early-videogame-trans-women-frozen-half-1990-1997

transfem lesbian sex is so awesome that it makes me actively angry to remember that a lot of sisters are missing out on it because society locked them into isolation or stuck in the egg etc.

my sex life feels like the most fanservicey, corny plot of futanari harem porn, and to live that first person is every bit as fantastic as it sounds

in general, I'm convinced that a large reason why straight society resents the queer so much is that our sex life is too good

was talking with girl today about how the finitude of life hits you hard when it hits you at more than an intellectual level, and i said in my mind it's part of what I tend to think of as "the hard problems". I have a division between easy and hard problems. easy problems include:

- global warming
- white supremacy
- return of fascism
- the patriarchy
- the State
- ecological polycrisis

and other such inconveniences. like I don't have any practical actionable way of solving these problems, but they are *solvable*. the solutions to them are difficult to implement but they're easy to imagine. (in many cases my solution involves "give me a 100 good girls and as many AK-47s.")

the hard problems don't have solutions. they include things like:

- The inevitability of illness, age, and death
- The fact that every relationship is temporary, so for example me eventually abandoning my kids to live the rest of their lives without me is the *good* ending, because the alternative is worse
- No save stages or chances to undo mistakes
- Existing means wanting things, but not everything that you want is possible
- And when you can actually satisfy your want, it quickly becomes unsatisfying (the hedonic treadmill)
- Too many wants are incompatible (I want to live in Japan again *and* be back to Brazil *and* stay with all my darlings in Germany *and* go to Rojava shoot at fascists *and* live in Africa etc. and I can only pick one)
- Memory easily fades and gets overwritten and you're constantly losing everything even when you're still alive, like a million little deaths every day

and so on and so forth. things that are inherent to the structure human existence. it all sounds trite when put into words, probably because the enormity of it is so overwhelming that you need to think of it as trite and shelf it away. but every so often these things become acutely clear to you at a visceral level somehow, either randomly or because of an impactful event or trigger.

I can go face nazis and crash their tiktoks to troll them and punch them when they assault me. I can't punch the fact that I can't be with my children forever, or that I have to live with my regrets for the rest of my life. even if we had global anarcho-indigenous revolution and solved the ecological polycrisis forever and lived in biopunk utopia (which we 100% should do), we will still suffer over the hard problems.

with the hard problems, you can only cope. sometimes we cope by distraction and not thinking and I do not blame anyone for that, least of all myself. but sometimes the only way that I can cope is to stare at it right on the face. therefore my interest in doing zazen again.

"and what about this shelf in your garden, what are you growing there?" "babies, why?"

#robin

all the folklore I could find about robins mastertoot, mostly from Britain or Ireland:

- robins are messengers from the beyond and if one is hanging out around you, it's the person you're grieving sending hi. "when robin appear, loved ones are near".

- robins will respectfully cover the bodies of lost and dead humans with leaves when nobody else will.

- the robin is very brave, and earned their red breast from the fires of Hell, because they fly there to bring a droplet of water to the souls in torment. or from the blood of Christ, whom they helped on the cross, or from fanning a fire to keep baby Jesus warm, or from the very Sun Herself, when they flew up high to carry Her fire on a twig and rescue Earth from the Long Winter.

- For their bravery and fighting spirit, the Norse linked the robins to Thor, and the Celts to fire-god Lugh.

- Those who lock or hurt robins are cursed. "A robin in a cage puts Heaven in a rage."

- Robins are generally omens of good luck and of new beginnings.

- However, a robin rapping on one's window is a sign of calamity or illness.

- If a robin crosses the threshold to inside one's house, it means someone in that house will die.

-

@Bruiserzinha (tecnicamente eu toco shinobue e não shakuhachi, mas eu arranho a shakuhachi um pouquinho tb )

spent a good half-hour debugging an issue with kasumi (for anthy). turns out that you have to create ~/.anthy/private_words_default manually (empty file ok) before adding new words to the dictionary works. this using debian stable versions of everything.

anthy-dict-tool for CLI dictionary edition doesn't work (it can't find the POS, even copying a line exactly like it came from kasumi, and even when it's opening /usr/share/anthy/typetab successfully). I feel like I'm the last person in the world using these input methods sometimes

generally the problem with Linux is that it's only used by programmers and tech people and if your interests lie in using computers for something other than tech everything's a half-broken mess.

but there's literally no alternative so what is one gonna do. (I mean I can always go back to NetBSD but that's even more tech people-oriented)

I guess part of the stereotype that ancient peoples had brown clothes must be from the fact that even when the clothes get preserved, which is very rare and biased towards certain materials more than others, the dyes of course won't. here's a 2000-year-old outfit found in the peat in Huldremose, in today's Denmark; a reconstruction from the Nationalmuseet of what it would have looked like when the woman wore it (https://en.natmus.dk/historical-knowledge/denmark/prehistoric-period-until-1050-ad/the-early-iron-age/the-woman-from-huldremose/the-huldremose-womans-clothes/); and a recreation with period materials by youtuber Sally Pointer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnAXYrcKVEE )

this is 100% how it actually is, except I get like 日本のどこに住んでましたか or どのくらい、etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmfipv-H4_o

sooo I was looking into the Merz reforms, and uh it's just austerity?