Notices by Stefan (stefanthinks@beige.party)

In England, chipmunks are called crispmunks.

What happens when AI starts training on AI-generated word salad and hallucinations that were trained on AI-generated word salad and hallucinations, like some kind of MC Escher feedback loop?

We should be able to charge our bodies with usb-c cables by now.

Why were the Mexican pants sad?

Because they were pant-alone-ees

Everyone knows that if you have virtues, you shove that shit down deep and never act according to them, share them, or ever mention them. They are dead to you, got it?

My toddler: soooooooo?

Me: Take Chad’s bike. You don’t want people to think we’re rubbing it in their face that we don’t steal.

“Obama followed me on the other site.” Well, la Dee dah, one time, I made a joke about selling old Wienerschnitzel hot dog water as a cologne for dogs or something, and the Wienerschnitzel social media account liked it. Get back to me when you top that.

I just found out my tweet I did on Twitter was screenshot and memified, even had an entry on knowyourmeme. It's kind of cool because no one knows who created it except for me. So I'm pretty much like if Banksy won a caption contest.

I know how Sisyphus felt, I am forced to drink water every day non-stop.

It's not Costco unless it comes from the Costco region of Kirkland, otherwise it's just sparkling wholesale club.

My wife got a $50 gift card for Whole Foods, so we were able to share a banana.

Reverse cowgirl? Ok, lrigwoc, now what?

You abruptly turned down the invitation to my improv group's show, but you didn't let me explain the concept. We are also a ska band, perhaps this new information will sway your decision.

Everyone wants to live in a commune until they realize a lot of other people live in a commune.

The late worm avoids the birds.

I just saw some guy on here who seriously thinks he's Jesus. I told him happy belated birthday.

It's so lame my psychiatrist refuses to prescribe a medication variety sampler pack.

Me: my stripper name is Honey Mustard Lexus.

Friend: hahah, did you take one of those funny online quizzes to find your stripper name?

*I lift my shirt to reveal a large belt buckle that says “Chippendale’s National Pole Goblin Championship 2006”*

Me: Does this look like an online quiz to you?

If I were a brain surgeon, I would wear a cap that says, “Pobody’s Nerfect. That's why pencils have erasers!” to surgeries so the vibe wouldn't get too serious.

When I take my unruly dogs for a walk and see someone with a well-trained dog, I imagine them as the snobby kids from the rich summer camp and us as the ragtags from the ne’er-do-well camp who win the talent show because what we lack in joyless technicality, we make up with heart and gumption.

My New Year's resolution is to simply decide to stop having ADHD. 🤡