Did you know that everything in the universe is either a potato, or not a potato?

This sentence contains exactly threee erors.

Always weird going back to the secret government lab you were raised in.
Everything looks so small

You shall not leave your shit on the checkout conveyor belt whilst you suddenly realise you've forgotten something and go and get it. That's fucking rude!

Now that it’s springtime proper, this is your warning that not all animals are puppets. you can’t just have a conversation with every animal, they don’t all enjoy riddles, they don’t all enjoy sarcastic dialogue

What if we make RFK Jr. Trump’s personal physician?

#MAGA

Slava Ukraini!!

I stand with Zelensky and the people of Ukraine

#slavaukraini

A London bus stop

#WeekOne

@slothrop

But that's not sustainable. Are they buying a new one every month? And how many people in the smaller cities are doing that?

Yes, a status symbol once per year if you're materialistic but for the average Joe?

I cannot believe that there is enough trade in luxury watches to support the number of stores in every damn mall in the country. The Tag store, Breitling, Rolex, etc.
The maths doesn't work...

The idea that the "ideal beach body" just means being thin or buff is so unimaginative. Surely the ideal beach body would have a powerful lobster claw, arm flaps to act as a windbreak and a sand-repellent anus?

#Bookbanning

#abortion

#sober
#sobriety
#recovery
#addiction
#mentalhealth
#inspiration
#happy
#grateful

I like this one...

Name a common vegetable that cannot be preserved in any way. You can extend its life in the fridge a tiny bit, but that's it.

It cannot be tinned, pickled, frozen, etc. (Well, it can, but you wouldn't want to eat it afterwards)

Go!

#English #Woke

My German translations are going from bath to sausage