The idea that the "ideal beach body" just means being thin or buff is so unimaginative. Surely the ideal beach body would have a powerful lobster claw, arm flaps to act as a windbreak and a sand-repellent anus?

#Bookbanning

#abortion

#sober
#sobriety
#recovery
#addiction
#mentalhealth
#inspiration
#happy
#grateful

I like this one...

Name a common vegetable that cannot be preserved in any way. You can extend its life in the fridge a tiny bit, but that's it.

It cannot be tinned, pickled, frozen, etc. (Well, it can, but you wouldn't want to eat it afterwards)

Go!

#English #Woke

My German translations are going from bath to sausage

#NikkiHaley

“Fuck the patriarchy” isn’t saying fuck men. It’s saying fuck men having all the power and telling women what they can do.

Just a reminder that 15 years ago, there were no waiting lists over 18 weeks, no 12-hour A&E waits, no waiting an hour for an urgent ambulance, over 90% of cancer patients started treatment within 2 months, and everyone could see their GP within 2 days....

Then we got the Tories

Performatively engaging in normal social activities before going home to put on my crab costume and scuttle about in the wet darkness

@br00t4c

It's a psychological fact that many firefighters are pyromaniacs - I was taught to recognise the signs in my colleagues (and myself) when I trained...

#God #Christians #GunControl #GunViolence

Brilliant

Nailed it.

Shuts down laptop: I think that’s enough internet for today.
Picks up phone: Let’s see what the pocket-sized internet is doing.

Today's winner of the Internet is:

In the newly-formed parliament in France, the youngest member, far-right MP Flavien Termet, was given the task of welcoming the deputies. Most of the deputies did not shake his hand.

(Extra credit to the Rock, Paper, Scissors guy!)

But the Tories and Reform will blame the #eu

(Yes, I know it was Brown who sold the gold - I'm equally disgusted by that and Blair lying to us about WMDs and sending us into Iraq)