Notices by Boots Chantilly (bootschantilly@mstdn.social)

I’M SHOCKED SHOCKED I TELL YOU.

From: @SciMag
https://flipboard.com/@scimag/news-from-science-dgvs7ea7z/-/a-mAhFvNAUQWOCIb32EeH0lA%3Aa%3A2427788627-%2F0

Just look at this handsome young fellow. My son and d-i-l found him hiding under their truck—no tags, no chip. He’s going to make someone such a wonderful best friend. Could it be you?

He’s house-trained, very affectionate and eager to please, and SO sweet-natured. He’s a very VERY good boi who desperately needs a home & family. ❤️ #Houston #LostDog #LostDogsOfMastodon #PleaseBoost #PleaseShareWidely

Please boost? My son & d-i-l in #Houston found a #LostDog under my son’s truck. Spring Branch / Rollingwood area. Male, looks like a Husky / shepherd mix? Very smart, very affectionate, well socialized, good on a leash, loves toys. Is currently sprawled across my d-i-l’s lap on the sofa. Misses his ppl, we’re sure, so pls spread the word. #DogsOfMastodon

Last night, we watched Gladiator II, & then, the clocks flipped forward an hour while I was sleeping—all this to say I want that 3 hrs & 20 min back, goddam it. #UGH

I need pamcakes.

WELL, I’VE HAD A DAY, a thread …

Today, I had to make a run to the dope hut, which has no real parking—you just have to pull off the road & park nose-in against a chain link fence. I do so, & I grab my bag & my keys, & as I start to open my door, I see something big & dark moving fast from the left rear of my car. I pull the door closed & hit the lock & see that it’s a man. He’s wearing a black basketball jersey & has clearly been living rough. 1/

He puts his face close to the window & starts screaming. Calling me names, raising his arms, shaking his fists. “GET OUT OF THE CAR, YOU DUMB BITCH!” I just sit there, trying to come up w/ an escape plan. There’s a road full of 50mph traffic behind me, & in front of me, a construction fence. No other ppl. I don’t want to call 911, but after a few min, I do. Once he sees that I’m on my phone, he kind of steps back a bit. Now he’s screaming & rage laughing & reaching toward the sky. 2/

So I watch him. & I wait. When the FOUR SUVs OF SHERIFFS (srsly?) arrive, I stay. They put the man in the back of 1 of the SUVs & there’s talking. I know how to talk to cops—both my fathers (bio & adoptive), my brothers (bio & adoptive), my uncles, my cousins, etc. were/are LEOs. I decide I’m not leaving until an ambulance is called out. When the ambulance comes, I finally run in & out of the dispensary & get back on the 2-lane highway (2 blocks away) to go home. 3/

I enter the highway behind a speeding 18-wheeler, in front of a Bimmer coming up fast. About a quarter of a mile down the road, there’s another entrance ramp onto the highway, & a small silver car & a black & white are about to try to merge in. The 18-wheeler brakes. He wants to move to the left, but the Bimmer is, by now, in the fast lane passing him. & gets knocked into the highway median by the big rig. I stop on the right. The truck stops on the right up ahead. 4/

The guy who was behind the Bimmer stops on the left & runs to see if he’s OK. He is. & finally, the cop comes back , parks in the median, & gets out. As I start to pull away to continue on home, David Bowie’s Somebody Up There Likes Me starts playing on the stereo.

& now I’m safely on our sofa, eating a pecan Snickers, about to swallow a gummie. /fin

When I was 20, if you’d told me I’d never see a woman President, I’d have laughed in your face. But now that I’m 63, I know it’s reality. How can that be? How can this country be almost 250 years old & have never put a woman in the White House? We’re more than half the population. WE’RE MORE THAN HALF THE POPULATION OF THIS GD COUNTRY & NOT ONE OF US HAS EVER BEEN PRESIDENT. 1/2

I wonder how long it took them to figure that out. 🫠

From: @skinnylatte
https://hachyderm.io/@skinnylatte/113833585764876481

I’ve never been able to stand her. & I hated that song—it was gross, in so many ways & on so many levels. #CarrieUnderwood

This is the kind of stuff that makes me homicidal. Sometimes suicidal. Sometimes both. #Misogyny #DoubleStandard

I’m shocked shocked I tell you. #VegasBomberMAGAt https://www.thedailybeast.com/las-vegas-cybertruck-bomber-matthew-livelsberger-was-a-trump-supporter-source/

@bmacDonald94 I bet they do!

It’s my dream job. You think I’m joking, but I am not. #ThatIsWhatIdTrulyLikeToBe

For me, the tequila isn’t required. I once sent my son a squishy throw pillow that looked just like a boiled shrimp. I don’t know why, & to this day, I have zero recollection of doing it. #SleepShopping

“‘I hope your Trump wishes come true. I wish you everything you imagined when you voted.’”

Such an awesome response—I’m absolutely stealing it. I hope everyone can access this article, not just Medium subscribers, bc it is a thing of genuine beauty. #MAGA https://medium.com/new-choices/i-sincerely-hope-trump-supporters-get-everything-they-voted-for-c20340289683

Truth. #TodaysFortune