@GuyDudeman so I've been watching this conversation for a while, and I have to say it is really difficult to not call what you're doing sealioning;
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning
You might not be doing this consciously, but that does not make it any better.
If you are being honest about wanting improve, the first step is to accept this is how it comes across. If you do want to improve, here's something I found immensely helpful as a white guy:
https://sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/