I doubt they're even made by CAT. They're probably rebranded Chinese shit.

Kotmatsu owns a chainsaw brand. They need to get on that FEMA kickback corruption list, so at least people get shit that works.

... or really we just need to disband FEMA. It failed under W. It's always been a failure. If there is a real nuclear war and all we have is FEMA, we're just going to start killing and cannibalizing FEMA workers because that's literally all they're good for.