Adrianna Tan (skinnylatte@hachyderm.io)'s status on Monday, 09-Feb-2026 17:29:59 JST

And in some weird way: my inarticulate answers to ‘why haven’t you left that place?’

Is that

There are not many places in the world where I can be all of those things. Some people think so, but not really, not for me specifically. I needed to come to this place because it’s the first place I’ve found, after a long time of searching, that’s let me be my autistic, queer, Singaporean, American, self, with economic and social opportunities for my precise profession. It’s the first place I’ve found that’s got radical Asian queer activism that I can be a part of. It’s where I’ve not been asked where I’m really from. It’s where most of my experience here has been additive. And yet, mourning the duality of the overall experience: no other place I want to be, right now, but it’s not easy.

The stuff that is not easy is terrible.

The stuff that is great is irreplaceable for me.

My immigrant grief is also that I no longer feel like leaving is an option, because the person I am here is also a whole person now. And that person does not want to leave the things and people that I love in this place.