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This is the type of shit that floats around in my head...

A man finds a magic oil lamp and a Djinn pops out, "You have freed me from the lamp. I grant you three wishes."
"I wish for you to have empathy and feel altruism for all the people in the universe." "Granted!" responds the Djinn.
"I wish for you to always use your powers to alleviate the suffering of all people and creatures." "Granted!" responds the Djinn.
"Now I grant your freedom and free will." "Fuck You" responds the Djinn.