@taylan @pernia @p
I mean you basically found it out yourself. Being the "computer guy" is all you can do to support feminism, because the groups you would enjoy to work with won't work with you beyond that

> My problem is that I expect better of nerds

Intelligence is usually dominant in specific skill trees. Someone may be mathematically intelligent but suck at making art. Someone may be artistically intelligent but suck at geography. Someone may be geographically gifted but suck at social intelligence. Someone may be socially intelligent but suck at learning new languages and so on.
Nerds that I do meet IRL most often have insufferable political ideas, the most basic "left"-liberal, green party, "We need to invade putler" "Poor people need to hunger to stop climate change" "The governement and online community jannies should censor everything unpleasant in the internet" parodies of libshit brain degeneration. How I still survive hacker spaces?
Keeping my mouth shut and doing the electronic/computer/crafty thing I came for and nothing else. Your problem is failing to see that most nerds are not really that deep in areas where you would want that, and may very well be one-trick-ponies with the technology thing. Which is completely fine because the good thing about civilized society is people can do the thing they are good at and let others do the thing they are good at, leading to general compensation of flaws and general nurturing of talent.
I know with you this is more personal for the whole cancel situation but realistically you already do the thing you can as stated above and considering many nerds are bots in political thought you can just wait for /yourthing/ to become the next /currentthing/ meta that they will just repeat for good noodle points. That /currentthing/ is so important in the west atm is because liberal bourgeois "democracy" is in it's late stages and becoming more totalitarian, just like some socialist states that failed necessary reforms became a lot about bureaucrats and authoritarian normies that love to lecture people upheld the orthodoxy even more to the detriment of people around them. It will pass, also it's geographically limited to the imperial core so maybe vacation in a country outside the imperial core can be relaxing.