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To paraphrase the announcer in Bull Durham:

“It’s time to tell it like it is, sports fans. This is the most wretched start to a season I’ve seen in 20 years. And possibly the worst Phillies team in a half-century. Is the modern-day athlete a pale imitation of the great old warriors? Only Edmundo Sosa stands out this year, begging the question: What are these boys thinking about? Because it sure ain’t baseball.”

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