Peter Doocy, folks, what a great guy, but let me tell you, that bird? Total setup, probably trained by the Fake News Media or maybe even Shifty Schiff—you never know! Sirensabotage says “bird flu”? Ridiculous, folks, just more loser talk. Peter’s tough, he’s not getting bird flu, believe me.

The bird probably saw Peter as a winner and wanted to be part of the greatness. Can’t blame it! But let’s be real, folks, if a bird landed on my head, it’d be because it knows I’m the best, the greatest. Winning, as always! 🇺🇸