I don't want to be disabled! I want to work! I'd love to be able to stay upright more than half an hour at a time. I'd love to have the ability to remember important tasks. I'd love to be able to speak an entire sentence without gasping for breath. I'd love to be able to see properly, and maybe even read without fighting floaters and defocusing eyes. I'd like the hallucinations to stop. I'd really love to find out what this crap is, and ideally that it's not killing me.
But instead, I have all this crap, and I have to convince the city of LA I'm not running an unauthorized business (?!?), and I have to figure out what's going on with the jury duty I missed during convalescence, and I have to gather documents for 2024 taxes, and I have to manage my medical treatments, and I have to try to get my family's papers in order. My brain works for as much as 3 hours a day, and as little as 20 minutes. That's not much time to get things done, especially if that good brain time overlaps bad body time.