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the entire citizenship of the USA is holding a grand conspiracy against the rest of the world, everyone here knows about the flesh tower of portland and how if you go too close the construction workers will deconstruct you and make you a part of the tower, however we are not supposed to talk about this.

i made the mistake of telling my british girlfriend this and now they are after me, they seek my flesh, so i must tell as much of the world as possible before it is too late.