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I am.... Upset. I had to reboot my personal Windows machine to finalize a driver update so I could play Monster Hunter, and upon rebooting, Windows sprang open some sort of new "welcome" dashboard which "helpfully" displayed a massive full color photo of someone EXTREMELY upsetting to see when I was not intentionally bracing myself to check how bad the news is today and it gave me a PTSD panic attack.

Allegedly turning off the Taskbar -> Widgets setting should prevent this, but we all know it will randomly turn back on for no reason