sometimes i just genuinely hate talking, like, i just straight up do not want to talk. talking sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. in those moments, like, this evening, i wish i knew asl and my family did too just so i wouldn't have to speak. i hate being expected to talk. wish i could just go between signing and talking, depending what i felt comfortable doing. sometimes my hatred of talking gets so bad i wish i had been born without the ability to speak.