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I've decided that because I don't really like #gardening, but I AM gardening this year, that I'm going to allow myself to harness the power of my anger, irritation, and dislike of gardening (and the state of the world) and channel that all into gardening -- the best I can.

I'm calling it "spite gardening". Not because I hate plants, but because I dislike oligarchy and I dislike being so beholden to capitalist food systems, bit I also hate sweating, I can't be in the sun for long, and I'm protective of my hands bc of my main career (which isn't farming).

But I'm going to do it "in spite" of all of that, as well as try to harness my own spite -- of it and the world rn -- to find the energy to do it. Anger can be a good fuel if directed correctly.

I hope, anyway.

It may require caffeine. Especially when I'm getting up at 4:30 AM in June to beat the heat. I will need to be judicious with that added substance. It and I don't always get along.

Basically, I'm going to trick myself into doing this, set up systems for bleary mornings to get myself out on the land with the plants, and then, hopefully, I'll find out that I'm actually enjoying it at some point.

We shall see. I am lucky that I have some intelligent co-conspirators on this project. But my own 40 x 50 plot isn't gonna grow itself!