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Five things I have done on the job today:

1. Authenticated SO. MANY. TIMES.
2. Proved that I was eligible for employment.
3. Fought with my new laptop nigh unto death, until I turned off all the text predictions and spelling “corrections.”
4. Read all 66 emails that were waiting for me in my new email account.
5. Attended 3 meetings.

Not that you asked for this, @gattaca, but I figured I’d start off on the right foot.