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This really happened; I see the youngest of 3 boys on their porch ringing their doorbell. Ring it again! Ring it again! the older bros keep yelling at him from inside.

I go across the street to see wazzup. On the table is their goldfish. Dead. They have used an exacto to surgically get access to its heart, have run sterio wires from the doorbell, and are trying to shock it back to life. Unclear what they would have done had it worked.

swear to god.

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