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@kaia

Context: A screenshot of a comment below a video about the horrors of "schlager" shows on German TV.

The translation:

Back then, during my training in the distribution center, I had to ride in the Sprinter with an employee for a few days. He never drove faster than 50kms per hour, which made the journeys very long, and he only listened to NDR1. Schlager. Always Schlager.

So now I'm an expert and can confirm: It's always about banging. And I can divide it into two categories, nicely binary according to traditional gender roles.

Male singer: "I was wandering along the paths of adventure through Magical Saint Exotic Land, when I passed a little village and fell in love with the chief's beautiful little daughter, with long, beautiful hair and a lovely face, and breasts like buds just awakened in spring. Well, that's when I made her my wife. But only while we rolled around in the hay and swore something about great love, but oh and woe, at dawn I had to move on, I wonder how the pretty babe is doing today?"

Fermale singer: "Once, in the land of palm trees and exotic plants, I was a young girl, my important father's sunshine, and in the summer when my little breasts were just awakening like the buds in spring, a charming man came along with golden hair and azure eyes and in the middle of the night, well, he made me his wife. He was my one true love, but as his cultural tradition apparently dictated, he moved on the next morning.Tragic, but that's how it can go. Incidentally, he never saw his blue-eyed son."

If he wasn't already well versed and experienced in life and she was a virgin and just about legal, then it wasn't a real schlager romance.