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I didn't sleep much last night, tried going to work as usual this morning, but then felt so crappy on the tram that I had to turn around and come home again.

I forgot that trams going *towards* the city are usually full in the mornings, so I had to stand and cling to a pole for dear life while sweating and shaking and keeping my eyes shut.

I probably could have asked if anyone would have been willing to give up a seat for me, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

Have been mostly resting, reading, watching videos, napping. Want to get up and eat a proper meal, now. maybe.

There was something really good that was supposed to happen today, but it didn't. I know now that it won't happen any time soon, and I'm 99% sure that it won't happen ever.

I don't think that me being unable to sleep or feeling physically shit has anything to do with the thing I'm disappointed about. It's just a 'fun' coincidence.

In fact I was kinda looking forward to going to work today so that I could distract myself from moping about the thing.

I'm not really moping all that much, to be honest. Maybe the moping will hit later. maybe I'm done with dragging it out over too many months, and I'm just impatient for it to be over and done with.

Tomorrow will be a better day.