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    Augie Ray (augieray@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 01-Feb-2025 02:28:38 JSTAugie RayAugie Ray

    The Onion is hitting a bit hard today.

    https://theonion.com/ice-agent-decides-he-wants-kids-after-seeing-incredible-1826461558/

    In conversation4 months ago from mastodon.socialpermalink

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    1. https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/924/133/705/812/550/original/296baf58f5496c12.png
    2. Domain not in remote thumbnail source whitelist: theonion.com
      ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child
      from The Onion Staff
      PHOENIX—Remarking that he wished to one day care so much about another person, Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agent Matthew Howe decided Thursday that he wants to have kids of his own after seeing the love and devotion of the immigrant parents begging him not to take their child. “I always said kids weren’t for me, but seeing the desperate love in the way those parents screamed and tore at their son’s shirt as I pulled him away—to have that powerful a bond must be amazing,” said Howe, admitting the intense sobbing as he kicked the parents off their son helped him finally understand how the power of the parent–child connection made two people very nearly inseparable. “My wife and I have been talking about it for years, but until I saw how these two were willing to do anything to save their kid, I wasn’t sure fatherhood was something I wanted. I mean, how many times have you heard a mother say she’d take a bullet to protect her kid? But until you see it happen, you don’t understand how powerful family can be. I want the kind of loving relationship they used to have.” At press time, Howe started to rethink his decision after attempting to simultaneously drive and deal with the six screaming, hungry immigrant kids in the back of his SUV.
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