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Mark, owner of Smashwords: 🦌 Okay Draft2Digital, I'll sell you my company whose userbase is full of the kinkiest people you can possibly imagine, but you've gotta promise to let them continue being kinky

Draft2Digital: 🐴 oh we promise

🦌 And don't do anything *too* fucked up, alright?

🐴 we promise

🦌 OK

*five minutes later*

New email, from: 🐴 subject: AUTHOR POLL on attractiveness of mousetrap; is this mousetrap hot enough to fuck? Have your say here