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It's hard to work when I feel like this.

Went out to get a takeaway coffee and a tteok-galbi pie from the korean bakery, and brought them back with the intention of consuming them while eating.

And instead I consumed them while watching shippy skz videos and making myself feel even sadder. wtf, self.

I'm going to try to do at least an hour or two of actual work now, and see if I can distract myself a little bit.

Yeah it's okay to feel my feelings, but also I gotta use my brain to earn moneys and pay bills. When whole self is weighed down by Too Much Sad, brain doesn't want to do the work that earns the money.

After work finishes today, we have a 3-day weekend (for the fucking Invasion Day public holiday on Monday, whatever), so I can wallow in sads for 3 days if I really feel compelled to do so.

If I can just get through the next 6 hours and somehow produce at least 3 hours of work in that time, I'll let myself fall apart for a bit.

Might even try writing some silly sadfeels skz RPF, but it won't be anything I can share with the world. I probably won't even post it on @ChickenRPF cos honestly it's not really fic. It's just delulu thoughts about past present and future romantic & sexual entanglements based on scraps of 'evidence' that I like to patch together into narratives and theories. I've tried turning it into fic in the past, but I don't have the knack or skill of turning broad outlines into actual scenes with good characterisation etc. And I don't know if I'm motivated to develop the skills required.