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i woke up feeling very "familiar" with the situation and it took me a minute to sort out why and it was this notion:

"the government (and world) is not your friend and you're living a subversive life"

this is odd because the last time i felt this was during the cult years which was also the exact opposite to how i'm living now.

it's a fucked feeling but also comforting? like, now, maybe, i can apply all the nonsense in a reverse engineered beneficial way?

i'm composing all of this scattershot while i go about my day so this will be a continually/randomly updated thread for a while. 1/xxx?