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you've pulled the car over at a beautiful cliff's edge, overlooking an expanse of forested river valley. what you thought was the noise of some scrambling creatures is getting closer, and suddenly I hurl myself over the ledge towards you, gasping, covered in gashes and mud. I reach out and mutter something but collapse.

Perhaps you hurriedly offer me your water bottle. I knock it away and grasp your shirt. "Tell me... what day is it..."

At your shocked reply a wave of relief washes over me. I let go of you and jump up, both fists raised.

"YES!!! I MADE IT!!!"

Spittle and blood streaming from my mouth as I gallop away down the highway, screaming "IT'S FAGGOT FRIDAY!!!!

FAGGOT FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"