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This will be the first Christmas without my mother, and while that is sad, there is a measure of relief as well. Mom struggled mightily with many demons, among them toxic narcissism, fueled by addiction. For years, the question was not whether she would ruin Christmas, but how. This was our reality.

This year, we experience her loss both ways. And I'm reminded that so, so many families endure similar poisons. If this pain visits you at this time of year, know that you are not alone, and if you ever need to talk about it to an understanding stranger, I get it. I hope you make it through another one without too much struggle.