@mischievoustomato Each partner in the relationship should have and pursue some interests that their partner doesn't necessarily share, assuming that things aren't so dire that they're constantly scraping for survival. Anything less is unhealthy (both for the relationship and for the individuals' mental / emotional state).

Yes, it can be taken too far (also unhealthy), but most of the time when you hear "they are with men who are just not interested in them that much" it is shorthand for "she isn't trying to develop and pursue her own interests" so she's trying to smother him instead.