You do what you have to do, what you think is best, what helps you sleep at night. Nobody has a right to ask you to do anything more than that, and lord knowns I have been you, I have lived in your mindset for decades of my life.
I just can't anymore. I can't pretend, anymore.
So don't expect me to. Because I no longer have the capacity to participate in the slaughter of billions and my own eventual murder. I just can't. I won't. You've been warned.