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Anyone reading this: you are worth a million fascists.

Outlive Donald Trump.

If you do, claim one free beverage of your choice from me: chai latte, Shirley Temple, Aged Scotch, a plain lager, 100 gram of vodka, a fruity Chardonnay, anything. If you encounter me, I will personally treat you. Just remind me of this toot. No questions asked.

We probably won't meet, but this offer is in perpetuity, and if you need one petty reason to hold on, here it is.