Man can you imagine how dope it would be if gay people really had all those superpowers Christians insisted they had? Controlling the weather and mind control and all sorts of x-men shit?

Gay marriage isnt half as dark and nefarious and evil either and that kinda sucks. Instead its just groceries and taxes and remembering to take the recycling out and car insurance went up $60 this year. You get cool rings to wear but you can't like, use them to summon a balrog. I used mine once to crack an egg though.