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I am likely to be stuck in the Netherlands for a long time, so I may as well learn Dutch, but that feels like such a waste of time when I'm more interested in German.

On the other hand, am I really ever gonna move back to Vienna? Am I ever going to be meaningfully part of the German hacker culture? I have most of my partners in the Netherlands now, but I have no emotional attachment to this country. If anything, I feel like I have more resentment.

It seems like I have much fewer resources available for Dutch, and that really sucks. Even finding a decent Anki deck for vocab, which is where I would always start for a language, is proving to be difficult. I guess I'll settle for an okay deck.

Quite frankly I have little motivation for Dutch because I don't really want to live in this country, but I don't really have a choice... And not speaking the local language is severely limiting.

This is something I will have to devote countless hours to and years of my life... and I'm honestly really not feeling like it.