the fucked up thing is that all of my connections that could get me paid are like. i can probably find a really well paying job at dell supplying servers to the DOD if i wanted. i could get a job that exploits AI-identified trends to make efficient stock trades. i have connections who work at some of the biggest tech companies in the world that could probably give me a good referral. the thought of it all fills me with dread. the world could probably be fed to me on fucking a platter if i would just reach out and grab it. i'm in a very privileged position, in a privileged social class. is it immature of me to reject all of that? is it wrong?