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17:30 (Continuation)
After telling the head physician my first thoughts about going to a psychiatry, and my sentiment being very explicitly that I am not interested, he weighed in that it would be a lot of paperwork to make this happen. Although that wasn't really my concern, but if I thought I'd need to go to a psychiatry, I would ask regardless of the paperwork.

There are many players here and I, at the bottom of the food chain, can't really understand who has my best interests in mind. I trust the physician a lot, as he's calm and wouldn't suggest anything if it goes against a patient's health. There's the sponsor Roche, which has suggested to take me off the compound and wishes for me to go to a psychiatry for “safety”. What it began sounding to me is that these side effects at such low doses paint a worrying picture for possible EU / FDA approval of this drug. My vehement cataloging and absolute honesty about my own health makes my record an outlier among some of my study-mates, who sometimes are the entire day not present in our realm, only to then claim “It's all fine” in the wellbeing, causing no side effects to be noted. I don't blame them, on a schedule this rough it's incentivized to keep things short.

So, is Roche worried about (never mentioned) withdrawal symptoms and wants to study those, or do they want to go through my medical history to find a “legitimate” reason to dismiss my personal experience with the compound? Potentially dismiss also my negative side effects from the withdrawal if there will be any? I have no idea.

Honestly, I may just understand the entire situation wrong, so take everything with a grain of salt. Possibly they're also just worried. I don't have anything to hide, I've been honest to ICON about my medical history, they even have many documents forwarded by my GP. I still stand for my privacy :)

23:54
I just had a karaoke evening, we only played good songs. This place is pretty chill, I must admit. During karaoke I told the story of the head physician and the psychiatry. A guy looked me dead in the eyes and said “you know they'd give you a fortune if you do that, right?” I was like “nahh man, that's not true, is it?”, and he claimed “yeah, for any inconvenience or extra day... they're a medical company after all”, and I still don't believe him, but that may have been possible. It didn't change my mind, however, I'm very glad this will be over when it is over! Not that I hate it here, not at all, but maybe keep it low for my first study, after all :]