#actuallyautistic so yeah struggling with childhood trauma like we all of do. Because mom said she loved me but really didn’t love me who I really was, realized I have been applying this “rule” to my relationship with hubby. Just had a nice trip with him and we had a breakthrough. He doesn’t verbalize much, & I now know due to autism I apply rules to behavior & have applied wrong rule to his reactions. Ack, so lost at this point, like I don’t know what people mean, ack, but I thought I did.